More and more as time goes by the novel Kafka on the Shore seems like such a fitting book for me to read. Being schizoaffective, I am not sure if I hear a voice or not- so I am able to relate to Kafka with Crow. The things Crow says to Kafka also slightly mirrors what I hear/think. I may have made a big mistake today, so the voice is strong again. I wish it wasn’t this way. If I was able to communicate what is going on in my mind, today would have gone much smoother. It happens. People make mistakes. But sometimes others make mistakes that ruin relationships. Perhaps I made a mistake of that caliber today. But I am beginning not to care. And to think it all started when I was falling for someone. For someone who is sweet and kind, amazing, and able to understand me, stands by me.
I don’t want to have a superficial relationship with anybody. I want to have a healthy relationship with my sister and father, but everything can’t just be forgotten. I want to work out the issues, so they don’t happen again. Isn’t that what everybody should want?
I just really need to start being able to express my thoughts. Fingers crossed on it being soon- because I am tired of misunderstandings and miscommunication.