After finishing Kafka on the Shore, I feel slightly more confident about expressing myself. After reading the Goethe quote about how “everything’s a metaphor”, I realized I also said something along those lines while talking to Brandon. Of course Goethe and Murakami said it much better than I could, it was the same idea. Reading this novel helped me realize I under estimate myself too much. Too much being an under statement. I think starting the book in the hospital helped me understand it and appreciate it. In the hospital allowed much time to think about… well… anything there was to think about. I thought about my future (marrying Brandon, going to university/college), past (last month being in a different hospital), loved ones (mainly Brandon and mother/father), politics (GOP :( vs. Obama), Korea (the starving escaping refugees that almost no one knows about outside of Korea), cats (the calender rip outs of cats “hanging in there”) , dogs (therapy dog stealing the last comfortable chair), and almost everything else under the moon*. *I usually have dark thoughts, so I thought moon was more appropriate than sun. I want eloquent. I want to be able to get my point across. It takes practise, though.
I also need people to start seeing me as a mature adult. I am no longer the little sister that runs around saying weird things nor am I just a weird alien kid that might be a lesbian. I am Rebecca. I love Asian related things especially cinema. My favorite director is Wong Kar Wai, and of his films my favourite is Chungking Express (1994). I first started to get into Asian culture through Korea. My passion is refugee work (mainly North Korean deflectors). As to how I am going to pursue this passion, I am not sure. I plan on majoring in Chinese and minoring in linguistics at NC State. I am a person with my own thoughts, and I would like that to be respected. If you can not respect me, then I don’t want you in my life. I am a frank person and I don’t like nor buy into appeasement.
I have matured over the past few months. I know I still have much to learn, but I still know quite a bit compared to the average Joe (people who conform to this horrid, stupid society).